The Consonance of Problems

Problems, we all have them.

Sometimes they are small and other times they feel like their as big as Mount Everest.

When someone else hears about another's problems they might shrug them off and not understand; other times it can put one's own problems into perspective.

Sometimes hearing about other's issues can be enraging. I know I have thought "Why the freak are you talking about your problems, don't you know I am dealing with way more important problems?"

Ha, could I be anymore of an ass?

Actually I think the first question I should be asking myself is:

Why am I comparing my problems to someone else's? Who am I to say my problems trump anyone else's issues.

I swear sometimes I feel like we live in a society that tries to one up each other in problems we have endured. It's like saying "hey, my life has been great" is not acceptable. Almost as if people don't want you to be happy but they also don't want you to have larger problems than their own.

This is when things get really sticky because white lies and exaggerations come forth.

Umm, but does anyone else see the issue at hand? Instead of being supportive for each other through our struggles we are distracted by how our own issues compare.

I was spending time with my sister today. She is going through some major life renovations, like they are HUGE and I couldn't be more proud of her. I love hearing about the changes she is making and the ways she is growing in her life. I am always so proud and amazed by her (she is my hero and role model FYI). But as she was telling me about these changes and the emotions that come along with change she said something along the lines of "you don't want to hear about my problems, you have enough to deal with already".

It made me stop and think because these past few months I have been entangled with my own shit. I have concentrated on me and what I needed to do to survive. I made myself a priority and didn't notice much of anything that was going on around me. I am not proud of it, but sometimes you do that to survive.

Now that I am coming out of that haze I am learning about what has been going on around me. I don't think "hey sister, shut it, I have bigger fish to fry" or "my problems are too important to listen to yours". I love hearing about her journey because it brings me back down to earth and allows me to realize that life is bigger than me. My problems are not going to end the world! (Thank God!)

Unfortunately there have been other times that I have thought and said "You have no idea what I am going through" I implied that no one could wrap their head around my issues, as though I was a supreme being that had fanatical problems.

I am slowly pulling my head out of my ass.

Yeah I have problems, but so does everyone else. How we perceive those problems all depends on perspective. Who are we to belittle anyone's problem?

What makes it so hard to reach out and just let people know we are here for them, though thick and thin?

Why do we live in a society that always has to one up someone, even when it is the last thing they need?

We need to learn to listen, actually listen to what people are saying and empathize with what people endure.

If anything, we can grow and become united through differing problems. Stories can become the teacher instead of having to endure more experiences of hardship and struggles alone.

We need to learn to accept that we all have our own unique issues and through these struggles we have become unique beings that hold a wealth of knowledge that can teach each others about the world's pitfalls and beauty without actually having to live through the same difficult experiences.

Why else would we be forced to struggles through life's challenges if we were not suppose to use them to teach and support others through the journey of life?

It is naive to stand alone and  try to endure life's trials and tribulations without support.

Men's hearts ought not to be set against one another, but set with one another, and all against evil only. -Thomas Carlyle