Faces

“Underneath my outside face

There’s a face that none can see.

A little less smiley,

A little less sure,

But a whole lot more like me.” 

-Shell Silverstein 

Excuse Mister Silverstein, you are a genius. 

Let me explain to you how this speaks so genuinely to me and take the time to try and do the same. 

"Underneath my outside face"...

My face that can smile when it wants to cry. My face that has become all to good at covering up raw emotions. 

My outside face is the face that is made just for the world to see. 

I will tell you I am strong, I will tell you I am confident. I will tell you I can be everything you need me to be. I will tell you that I am fine. 

I will push you away, I will refuse all help. I will pretend that I have the strength inside.

And yet..."There's a face that none can see"...

You do not see me sitting here alone in my room pondering why I ache, you do not see me here struggling to see how happiness will take shape. I do not tarnish the world with my constant heartache, my constant yearning to not be alone. My inside face is to vulnerable and dirty for anyone to see. 

This face you cannot see is not what the world expects of me. 

Because the smile that adorns my face is something of a ruse.

"A little less smiley"...

Now that is me. I do not always have the strength inside and most of the time I am not fine. 

"A little less sure"...

Always questioning left from right, up from down, right from wrong. Always wondering what is next and why it all exist. 

"But a whole lot like me"...

I am like locket, on the outside I can shine so bright but I only know what I conceal inside.