Feelings Trump Desires

I told my close friend today that sometimes we have to leave the people we love the most to let them grow and to grow within ourselves.

What the hell? How does that even work?  It really seems ridiculous! You would think we should be able to grow with the people we love the most.

But sometimes the people we love the most are not the healthiest for us. 

It is the difference between what we feel and what we desire.

I believe what we feel is a mixture of our heart and our head whereas desire is purely emotional.

I am going to use my love for pita bread as an example.

As some of you know I am a glutard aka I cannot consume gluten without crapping my pants and throwing up. Hooray!

So my desire is to eat pita bread...with hummus. It would be delicious, I would enjoy it in the moment but come a few hour laters I would hate myself and pita bread. My body would really hate me and pita bread.  Essentially the pita bread would destroy my insides for at least a week.

My feeling on pita bread is I still want to eat it and I would enjoy but I start to think about the bad parts. I really do not like to make myself feel like crap. I try to avoid it and I avoid it by not eating what I love. It sucks in the moment but the next day when I wake up I never think "damn, I should of ate that pita bread".

It is hard to not eat the bread because we live in a time where instant gratification is glorified. We want what we want when we want it. It sucks not having what we want. It really isn't fun.

But living life is not always about getting what we want and having fun. Life is about living for what we need and what will sustain us.

Being a grown up is a major bummer sometimes, for this exact reason. When the fight between feelings and desire is bigger than pita bread it can be the hardest struggle in life.

When the fight between feelings and desire is connected to relationships it can feel like the world is ending. It takes extreme self discipline, self love and determination to say good-bye to the person you love the most.

It can seem impossible to see the good side of saying good-bye. The positives of saying good bye to someone doesn't come right away, it can take weeks, months and even years. It seems ridiculous to fall apart and watch the person you love fall apart, especially when you know if you reunited the pain could disperse.

But in the long run the relationship will only be detrimental, growth will not occur because being comfortable is contagious, it is poisonous.

We deserve to be in a postive relationship that helps us grow in a positive way. When negative circumstances take place we have to use these as a sign, we do not deserve to be treat badly, we don't deserve to be destroyed.

There are people in my life I want in my life, like I want pita bread in my life. It is the hardest to say no but I know in the long run I will be healthier and happier. My insides will say thank you.

We have to remember the positives in the hardest times, when we internally struggle between feelings and desires, but the hardship is worth the outcome. We can endure the pain and come out on the other side!

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa