A looooong time ago when I first got into long distance running an old coach told me "you can train your muscles all you want but the most important thing is to train your brain".
Yada, yada, yada, that makes sense but I didn't really think much of it.
But it is freaky true.
I ran twenty miles yesterday and I thought consciously about the brain game I play with myself.
Let me explain my thoughts over my twenty mile run:
Mile 1 & 2: "Shit I am sore, my legs feel like they weigh 200lbs, why the hell am I out here and why I am a running so slow. Mmmm I think I need to pee, or is this just the nervous I need to pee feeling?"
Mile 3-7: "Oh fine, this isn't so bad. My legs feel normal, just had to get loosened up. I got this as long as keep my times around 8:20's. I am pretty sure I don't have to pee."
Mile 7-10: "WEEEE, look at me!!! I am running and I am happy, I am running and I happy, la la la, nobody can stop me"
Mile 10-12: "Shit I still have ten miles to go, what the hell! This is going to take forever and I think I'm starting to feel tired. Wait, what pace am I running at? Oh no running sub 8:00's, slow down speed racer or your going to die at the end"
Mile 13: "Hey I just ran a half marathon boo ya, but shoot I still have to run seven more miles...hmmm I think I need to eat something except my black cherry flavored shot blocks taste like ass, why didn't I buy the strawberry? I will have to resort to my ginger chews"
Mile 14-16: "Must keep brain occupied so I don't think about how tired my legs are feelings. I think I need to fart. I should just try and fart cause if I keep it in I know I will have a tummy ache. Maybe a loud car will drive by and I can fart and no one will hear...I hope it is a fart"
Mile 17-18: "Ok, this can be done now. I hate life, I hate running, I am tired. How the hell do I run marathons, why do I run them? Ouch, ouch, ouch, I think I have blood in my sock. Gross"
Mile 18-20: "Ahh I think I am finally hitting my second wind, or maybe I just know that it is almost over. I shall run very quickly to the end so I can be done. Wait, what should I do when I am done. What will I eat? I love eating. Food, I want food."
End of run: "I did it, I did it, whoop! I feel way too good for having run twenty miles, must do happy dance but my legs are too sore."
It is like a mini-life when you run long distances and push your body past its normal capacity of effort. Your emotions run rampant.
But somewhere inside me I made the decision that no matter what I will always keep running, aways keep pushing my body to the limit to succeeded no matter what my brain is telling me. I have become an expert at telling my brain to shut up.
But running is just one aspect of my life. One aspect that I have full control over. I can either live a lifestyle that pushes me forward and makes my body more efficient at running or I can live a lifestyle that negates my hard work.
It is sometimes hard finding this balance. I literally eat, drink and sleep for my running, especially right now in marathon season.
Sometimes I don't always put my running first but I find when I do not put my running first, I am not putting my best interest first.
Which is so strange to me because I know what will make me the best runner I can be and yet I don't do it.
I know what is best for me in most realms of my life and yet most times I don't do it.
It goes back to instant gratification. It is addicting. I am addicted to instant gratification, so how do I break the addiction?
How do I look into the future and work for future rewards while living in the present?
I want to live life in the moment, but I also want to live my life for bigger and better things.
Life in the moments vs. life's big picture, can they coincide, live together in harmony? Can I make living in the moment be productive for my life in the future?
Can I train my brain to be able to push past moments of hardship and keep going? Can I play the brain game in my daily life? Can I push myself to succeed and never stop?
I have no idea, it is my new mission to find out. For the next few weeks I will be seeing how instant gratification, living in the moment and living for life's big picture mesh in my life and if I can make them a harmonious team.
(and yes, of course I will blog about them!)
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment" -Buddha
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