Who Are You Going With?

I recently went on a backpacking trip around Waldo Lake.

When my friends and family heard of my adventures, that first question that came up was:

"Who are you going with?"

When they heard my response:

"Myself"

I got a slew of responses ranging from:

"Is that safe?", "Good for you!", "Well...that is strange."

And I get those responses to a point. I am a relatively petite 26 year old woman who was traipsing through the wilderness by myself.

But lets take 10 steps back before we jump to the conclusion that this a bad idea and I am going to get lost, abducted, or a bear would eat me.

First on getting lost! ITS WALDO LAKE, ITS A CIRCLE, or essentially a circle. If I managed to get lost during this trip I am an idiot, seriously. On top of that my father had me get a tracking device and I checked in with him everyday. So getting lost was not a concern.

Second, getting abducted. Let me first ask the question when was the last time you met a hiker that was creepy? Everyone I have  ever met on the trail is just like me, out to get some fresh air and away from society. Maybe it is a naive thought, but I don't think abductees are going to hike their asses into the wilderness in hopes of finding one random person to abduct. Also, I hike with pepper spray and a knife, so worst comes to worst I use my defense skills.

Third, a bear eating me....or any other animal attacking me. Well this may be the most likely option and well the way I see it, no matter what we do in life there are risks and I am pretty sure the risk of an animal attacking me is very slim, especially in the places I am backpacking. I am not going on any crazy, rough, adventures at least not until I am more experienced at traveling on my own.

So really what I am asking is why does everyone ask "who am I going with?"

And I had to think on that for a while and I realized for a long time I asked myself the same question. I always wanted to go backpacking but I always wondered "with who?" Then it dawned on me, I do not need anyone.

I can do this on my own.

Strangely enough admitting that was hard, accepting that I do not need anyone to go with me on this backpacking excursion was scary and lonely.

Being alone is scary and overwhelming and yet freeing.

And as I laid in my tent and thought about this new adventure I had taken on my own, I connected it back to life.

I have asked myself many times in my day to day life, "who am I going with?"

I didn't come up with an answer, I thought a lot about the people in my life who have helped me on my journey and the people no longer in my life that have shaped me to be where I am.

But now as I look back on my excursion I have to laugh because it tells the story of my life.

When I got out to Waldo Lake it was already evening time so I decide to just hike a few miles in a find a good campsite and that is exactly what I did. However as soon as I stopped hiking the mosquitos swarmed and tried to eat me alive so it made camping a little more difficult.

Kind like in life, even when you want to stop and take a breath the world around you never stops.

But like in camping, or at least this beautiful campsite, you have to accept the beauty with the ugly.

The next day I woke up and planned on hiking 12-15 miles (the total hike was around 25 miles) and then stopping for the night and enjoying another night under the stars. Yet again however, my plan was foiled. I feel silly admitting this but the damn mosquitoes changed my ENTIRE plan. The first 10 miles were OK. There were mosquitoes and they almost ate my alive, but with a large amount of bug spray and never stopping to take a breath I made it through.

By mile 12 I needed a snack, I needed to change my socks and the view was too gorgeous to ignore, so I sat down and let the damn mosquitos bite me.

But I mean really look at these views...even as the mosquitos ate me I appreciated the beauty that nature offered.


After my rest at mile 12, the trail moved away from the water and more into the wilderness. By trail I mean climbing over fallen trees, doing kung fu with the mosquitoes that some how got worse and trying to keep my wit about me.

My plan to stop at mile 15 didn't happen. I could not stand the idea of trying to set up camp with the mosquitoes, but by this time my body was tired. I had never hiked this far by myself with my too heavy of a backpack. I honestly was kind of losing my mind but I kept trudging on.

By mile 20 I saw a sign that said 5 more miles until North Waldo (where I left my car) and made a resolve that I wold make it to my car and if by some miracle I found the perfect campsite that was not infested with mosquitos I would stop and camp.

I never found that campsite and hauled myself the next five miles. I wasn't exactly sane though, at one point I may have yelled at the mosquitos to leave me alone, mostly because I wanted another snack and to go to the bathroom but I didn't want to stop and let me mosquitoes eat me again.

I found the 1 mile sign and danced a jig! When I came out of the woods on to the campground for North Waldo I scared a man, he jumped and asked where I had come from. I probably looked insane, covered in mosquito bites, one eye partially swollen shut from being bite, a pant leg torn from catching it on a log and some blood that went along with the torn pants...

But I made it through the hike. I hiked 25 miles straight through, I took one snack break, didn't go to the bathroom and only lost my cool briefly.

I did it and I realized as I drove 4 hours home, I am one tough cookie and I can teach others that we can do it on our own.

I believe we live in a time where there is societal pressure to be with people or have a significant other. At least I have always felt that way and struggled meshing my introverted side with my extroverted side, but I am coming to accept it is OK to be alone and take on life's adventures by yourself.

For me at least, that is how I am learning and embracing my life. There will always be mosquitoes in life, (and I asked myself many times, why do mosquitoes even exist) and I think it is because they test  us and shows us our worth in a very backwards way.

Just like every trail and tribulation in life can prove to us our strength and worth if we chose to find the positives in them.